I'm awake.

I had one of those dreams.
It seemed so real and I awoke from my own weeping.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had those, right?
In this dream, I lost Trevor.
And the dream seemed to last the whole night.
It was horrible.
And it took the whole morning to stop the tears.
I was exhausted the whole day.

And more aware.

I held his hand every chance I got.
I looked at him a little longer.
I stopped and hugged him more than once.
I inhaled his scent and savored it.

Sometimes I wonder why it has to take a dream
to wake me up.
And appreciate the man that shares my soul.


donna said...

Oh Shelli i had a dream ( A few months ago.) that i lost Ryan. It ws so scary. I really don't know what i would do if that ever happen!

I also need to learn to appreciate Ryan more often! :)
I hope you have a great weekend and do something fun with Trevor.

Sants said...

Oh my gosh! I've had that same dream (well, about Larry). I was crying all day and I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. It was horrible. I responded the same way!

You have all my sympathies! Thanks for sharing! I appreciate it so much. It's a good reminder, without the full horror.

Trev said...

I too have had that dream (not that I lost myself) and it evokes the most indescribable grief and pain, and upon waking, the most gratitude I have ever felt that it was simply a dream! Why can't we just dream we are in Hawaii or at Disneyland?????
Luv u Shell!

Steph said...

I've never had that dream, but my little Jacob has dreamt that Eldon and I had been killed in some horrible way and he was ALL hugs the next day. It was so sad and sweet at the same time to be the recipient of such hugs. I sure love my boy.

Gramma Spice said...

A friend just lost her husband last night. I will hold dad a little tighter when he walks in the door. There are reminders everywhere that what we have can change in a second. Savor the good moments and people we are blessed to share our lives with.

Tami said...

I HATE those kind of dreams. Mine don't ever feel quite as real as your seemed to, but I often dream that I lose Adam or one of my kids. It is awful! I agree with Trevor.. why can't we just have happy dreams? I guess that the bad dreams help us to be grateful for what we do have.