5.13.2008

Mother's Day

(click on the cartoon if it is too small to read)
I have been going back and forth on whether to post any thoughts about this Mother's Day. I guess I decided I will despite the fact it might make me look like an ungrateful mother!
This is what I said to Trevor at 1:00 church on Sunday, and I think it might clue you in to how my day kind of went. I know it sounds horrible, but I leaned over and whispered, "I am not sure I really like Mother's Day." He gave me that look that you are making right now, like how could I say such a thing. I explained that I guess on this day, I just have these expectations that the kids will all bring me their cute homemade gifts with kisses and hugs and maybe a letter telling me why I'm a special mom. But MOST importantly there will be peace and love abounding in our family on that day. No fighting, no arguing, trying their best to let mom know it's her special day. Believe me, I do know it is not good or realistic to have expectations!!!

Well, it wasn't all bad. Trev brought me breakfast in bed, which was a great start. Then all morning before church, there was constant bickering. I mean worse than usual. Horrible, actually. There were no gifts on Sunday, because I realized that they had given me the things they had made at school already, the week before. I recall MB coming home on Thursday, walking in the door, and handing me the homemade paper flowerpot card with real seeds in it (loved it) as he walked past me. MC made me some flowers in a vase which was so cute, and she had given that to me I think on Wednesday. MA casually told me Sunday morning that she had written me a card at school for Mother's Day but had accidentally left it there, and she would get it for me Monday. I still haven't seen it. So yes, my kids did make me some cute things, and though I sound ungrateful I am not. I think I am just a little disappointed in their...approach? ...timing?... I really don't recall a hug or much more from MA the whole day, and I think I got a hug from my son in the morning but then it was kind of like they forgot anything else. The little girls were great and MC made me a huge daisy with sweet words about me all around it. That was a highlight, and she thought of it herself!
We made it to church, where I was hoping to unwind from the not-so-great, noisy morning. I whispered the above comment to Trevor during the 2nd speaker's talk. This was the man who did a good job, but made us go 20 minutes over because it was so long. I had to do sharing time in primary (a 20 minute presentation/lesson for all the kids), so I kept wondering how I was going to do it with the time left. Then during my sharing time presentation, MD constantly was interrupting me from her seat in the front row...this is in that voice that kids think is a whisper, but is actually not..."Mooooom! I'm huuuungry!" "Moooom, did you bring me any graaaaapes?" "Mooooooom! I'm reallllly tired, I want to go hooooome!" "Mooooooom! Do you heeeeear me????" Needless to say, I was a little frazzled up there.
After church, Trev made all of dinner which was wonderful, and he surprised me with a garden cart I was wanting. Thank goodness, because I hate to admit it but I was afraid he may have forgotten, and my day so far was feeling so... well...ordinary.
It wasn't a bad day, but it really wasn't an extraordinary day either. I love my kids. I know they love me, but this experience did make me think that I may need to teach my kids to be a little more thoughtful and responsible. I'm disappointed in myself because... did I not teach them to be thoughtful and caring? I am thinking of having a family night or at least a family discussion on how we can show people appreciation and respect (and how not to argue especially on Sunday.) I think when the kids were younger, they were excited and sweet and Trev would help them make it a special day. Now that they are older, I think we both expected them to think for themselves, and well...they kind of didn't. Wow-I really sound ungrateful!!!
Anyway I think the best part of the day was my mom and dad coming over and enjoying their company for a while. I love to celebrate my mom cause she is just so great! Maybe my kids will appreciate me more when they are older. I know I appreciate my parents so much more now that I am a parent and know what they have done for me and how much they love me!
Thanks Trev for all you did for me on mom's day, and Happy Mother's Day to my mom and my mother-in-law. I hope all you mom's out there had a great one!

6 comments:

jess said...

What a breath of fresh air! I was putting the kids to bed and Carson said, "You HAVE to read Shelli's post" I told him I would in a second. He said, "No, right now. I'll finish with the kids". I couldn't believe that you told Trevor the exact same thing I told Carson. Carson was wonderful for Mother's Day. He bought me a couple things on my list on Saturday which I absolutely love, and Owen bought me a special gift all by himself with all of his money. Camryn had made me a gift from school that was very sweet. Jackson showed his love in his one way. But Sunday hit, and there were problems before church, the kids in my class were horrible (usually they are good), and Summer was sick. Carson made a yummy dinner. But I had the same experience. Thanks for being real. Now I feel a little better about feeling like an ungrateful mom on Mother's Day.

Krista Jensen said...

Oh, Shelli! That was funny and real! Mother's Day can be very exasperating because of the expectation. I realized as I walked into the kitchen Monday morning to make lunches and get Maren breakfast, that just because I get a day off, doesn't mean my kids, or hubby, will make up for the missed work, (ie. dishes). The kitchen was a MESS...and guess who got to clean it? Ah, well. Every once in a while, you WILL have a perfect Mother's Day, and you WILL appreciate it! Until then, sigh, beg, drop hints, and take what you can get, then follow up with a sock-it-to-em FHE lesson. xoxox

Gramma Spice said...

We moms sure can relate. What a day! You won't believe it, but I would go back right now in time to when you and your siblings were little, including the horrible days, to live over again! Sound crazy? I remember all the times looking over at a much younger dad, and saying, "I can't wait to take a trip with just you some day when they're older!"...as we heard bickering ooze from the back of the car. As I read your entry, the song, "Then They Do" played. When I heard the words, "It's just quiet in the morning, can't believe how much you miss... all they do, and all they DID"...past tense... I actually started to cry..came out of nowhere! Welcome to the future. I love the here and now...and the reason I do is because of my white haired angel at my side, my beautiful memories, and knowing that I can see and hug my kids now and then. Dad and I thrive because of the grandkids they have given us, too. But your own little kids?...part of a fleeting, magical moment in time to savor, and remember with longing one day. It's so good to vent about the disappointing and stressful days..especially when they fall on our "DAY"!..good way to stay sane! You are such a loving and committed, even doting mom. Your kids DO know that now and they will cherish you always...always! (even when they take us for granted)I cherish all that you are, sweetie..you are so amazing as a mom, friend,daughter, wife and so much more. I wish for you the happiness that you gave me while you were growing up!

Shelli said...

Wow, that made me a little teary! Thanks mom! Love you!

Aunt Pat said...

I can't believe you had to do Sharing Time! Not good.... Next year, suggest that all of the men teach in Primary on Mother's Day. That's the tradition in our ward. Then all the women go to a special meeting with a speaker and light refreshments. It's great.
Love,
PJ

Sants said...

Oh girl, I SO feel your pain!! It's like you saw my life, minus the sharing time. Thank goodness I am NOT in primary!

You are amazing! AND I love your mom's comment.